Darkness, Addiction, Spirit, and Love

The path chose me when I was nine years old. Thirty eight years later I am protected and guided by the unseen in ways I still don’t always fully realize until after the fact.

Maybe two or three people in my life understand when I share with them what I see and experience. That aspect of my life has definitely been solitary. I do know there are others, many others, who are having the same kind of experiences. In fact, most people do! Not as many seem to notice what’s going on.

Went for a walk in a local forest this evening with my companions who are always by my side even when I forget they are there. Sometimes I’ll forget for years! They are definitely patient with me. Not such a solitary path after all. The trees, the fog, the birds, and the quiet were like a blanket. Nature is beautifully honest. She doesn’t play favorites!

My life now has vitality that I lost when I explored the dark nature of spirit realms for so many years. The power of the dark yin is seductive. Addictive in various ways and expressions.

Yesterday afternoon I was solid. So solid I wasn’t yearning for spirit or shunning it. Whole and complete and able to be. So solid, I asked a friend to explain my life to my kids if I should happen to leave this world before he does.

Then a few hours later another friend was brave enough to share something that she was afraid might be very hurtful to me. She clearly felt bad about about what she was about to say. Yes, I felt myself teeter a little by the news.

Within a few hours I solidified again. Only my mind doing a bit of thrashing. No charge though. And the beautiful part of the whole thing is I can see the hand (or paws!) of my unseen friends having systematically protected and prepared me for the moment. No pain. Only love for all involved.

I’m solid enough that I am not concerned with what people might say or do as I walk through life. Leaving an offering on the sidewalk outside Starbucks for instance does get looks. Not so much in Bellingham but still….

I am so grateful for these friends of mine! Loose ends are being tied up daily. For the last month, bit by bit, my life has been getting a good cleaning.

The vitality and aliveness is continuing. No depression. Integration?!? I may finally understand how to live in one world made up of multiple aspects instead feeling like I have a foot in two different realities.